Blackness of Sunnydale
by DragonKatGal
Summary: *WIP* Sequel to Colours of Quortoth. Buffy/Stephen (Oh just give it a chance!!) *NEW: Chapter Twelve*
1. Dark

Blackness of Sunnydale

SETTINGS: The sequel to Colours of Quortoth

NOTES: You guys asked for a sequel, so…here goes nothing.

RATING: PG-13

PAIRING: B/Stephen 

SPOILERS: Up to season five, maybe a little of BTVS season six/AtS season three.  

CHAPTER ONE: DARK 

The Summers household was filled with activity, the heavy footsteps of people running up and down stairs, the loudness of the music that echoed throughout the house, the sounds of people yelling, though they did not fight at all.  An air of excitement was running through the house, and not a single person within the small home thought that anything could change that feeling.

Dawn was smiling, real smiles that lit up entire rooms.  She told anecdotes happily, the cheer in her voice so obvious that the other occupants of the household wondered how they ever thought that Dawn Summers could be complete without her older sister.  It was so very obvious that Dawn had been putting on a brave face, had been merely pretending to be alright while her sister had been gone.  Now that the house could see her true face, hear her true voice, they could tell that they had misjudged Dawn completely.

Willow was grinning happily, sitting in the arms of her girlfriend, peacefully taking in the raucousness of the household.  She could only entertain one thought, and one thought only.  Her best friend was back.  All was right with the world.

Tara was happy to have Willow happy.  It had been extremely taxing to see Willow taking a slow downward spiral after the failed resurrection spell nearly four months earlier.    But now, with the Slayer back in this reality, Willow's smiles finally seemed genuine.  

Angel was content, simply to just sit back and watch his son.  It was amazing to think that the bright young man seated next to him was the child that had been stolen from him only two weeks ago.  It seemed so unreal.  And to see him sitting there with Buffy no less…it seemed as though it was just a dream.  It had been Cordy, Gunn and Fred's constant questions about when Angel was next going to see Connor…Stephen, that had made Angel realise that it was real.

Giles was always at the Summers home even though he was staying at a hotel for the duration of the holiday season.  He would be going back to England soon, though he had plans to be back in California by late September.  He wanted to witness Buffy becoming a mother.

The Slayer, for the most part, seemed to be happy to be back, but anyone who knew her well enough could tell that she was struggling to keep herself calm in the presence of so many people.

Being Christmas Day, there were ten people in the house, herself included, which was more people than had been in Quortoth in total.  It was overwhelming, and she still had yet to tell them the entire truth about the time she had spent in a hell dimension.

Four and a half centuries spent being completely alone until the final two years of her torment.  It was difficult adjusting to the noise in her world.  It was harder for Buffy than it was for Stephen, even though he had never seen what the world had to offer.

Stephen had found himself thoroughly enjoying the newness of the life he'd just been granted.  For someone who'd only ever spoken to two other people in his life, he seemed to fit into the group perfectly.  Dawn had taken a special interest in her new brother-in-law and had done everything she could to make sure he felt at home in the Summers household.

Xander had taken Stephen under his wing as well, educating him in the finer points of all sorts of sports and television shows, which Stephen seemed to be genuinely interested in.  He was having an easier time being integrated into the world than Buffy was having being reintegrated.

She was quiet a lot of the time, often removing herself from group situations to walk out of the house and into the cool night air.  She'd suffered from several panic attacks in the house when things had become over-whelming.  She had concealed them well enough from everyone, including Stephen.  She would excuse herself and go to the bathroom, escaping the fish-bowl stares that the others would give to her.

Even with the over-whelming attention that the group was giving her, she would still accept each and every hug that any of the Scoobies offered to her.  A week of being back meant that Tara and Anya had gradually stopped hugging the Slayer, but Xander, Willow and Dawn would still randomly hug the girl.  

Buffy sighed silently and looked around the room.  With seven of the ten Scoobies in the living room, it was becoming crowded.  Willow and Tara were still sharing their corner of the couch with Angel beside them.  Buffy sat in Stephen's lap on Angel's other side, Buffy playing idly with Stephen's fingers.

The presents had been opened, and breakfast had been eaten.  Spike, Giles and Dawn were in the kitchen, preparing the food for lunch, Dawn insisting that everyone allow her to set the table by herself.  Even Anya had commented on how nice the decorations on the table had looked.  Buffy wouldn't have been surprised if her sister decided to go into a field of interior design.  Her sister had an eye for colours and patterns.

"So, tonight," Xander started from his seat beneath Anya and across from where the two other couples and Angel were seated.  "Are we gonna go watch the fireworks or what?" 

Stephen looked confused at that, a look that Xander didn't miss at all.

"Oh, fireworks, man, they're…they're like lights in the sky.  Explosions of…whatever the hell they put in those things.  You'll see.  You'll love it," Xander assured him.

Stephen nodded his thanks and leant his head forward, gently kissing Buffy's shoulder.  She leant back into him, enjoying the feel of his arms around her small waist, the feel of his lips against her neck.  She sighed in contentment.  

Things were hard, that was for sure, but nothing was going to ruin her home-coming.  As that positive thought ran through her head, she heard a knock at the door.  She went to move, but heard Dawn's footfalls running towards the door.

"I got it!"

Buffy, already half off Stephen's lap, stood up entirely and went to see who else had arrived for Christmas lunch.  Her gaze swept over Dawn who had become very still, amazement written in Dawn's eyes.

"Dawnie?  Who's at the door?" 

Dawn swallowed and looked towards her older sister.  "It's Daddy."


	2. Shadow

CHAPTER TWO: SHADOWS

Buffy swallowed hard and stepped forward enough to see her father.  She could hardly recall his face in her memory.  In the four hundred and fifty odd years that she had been in Quortoth, she couldn't remember even wanting to see her father.  She had always felt a longing for every Scooby member, for her sister, her mother, her Watcher, even Spike.  But never had she ever longed to see her father.  

Hank Summers gave his girls a brilliant smile and stepped into the house without being invited.  Dawn, her longing for her father overcoming her anger at the man, threw herself into his arms.  Hank just hugged the girl back in a fatherly way.  When Dawn let go, Hank went to give Buffy a hug as well.  She stepped back and Hank's eyes darkened a little.

"Buffy…surely you can spare one hug for your dad," he said.

Buffy felt a presence behind her and she turned to see who was touching her shoulder.  Giles stood behind her comfortingly.  She gave him a small smile.

"I'm sorry, but…you may be my father, but…you'll never my dad," she said regretfully.

Hank looked at his eldest girl in confusion.  

"What are you talking about sweetie?" he asked, his voice still sickly sweet.

Buffy wrapped her arms around herself, wishing that her father had done what he'd always done and stayed away from them.  Why would he come there now?  Why, when she had only just got back?  It made her wonder if the Scoobies had even told her father that she had died.  Obviously not if he was standing there trying to get her to hug him.

"My dad's been here for the last six years, Hank," she said sorrowfully.  She did feel a little sorry for the man, but honestly…he couldn't expect things to just go back to how they were.  "He didn't leave."

Giles fought to swallow his smile.  As much as he knew how hurtful Buffy's words were to Hank Summers, he couldn't help but feel a swell of love for his 'daughter'.  

Dawn looked conflicted, but after a few moments hesitation, she stepped away from her father and went to stand beside Buffy, in front of Giles.  The British man held back a grin at the show of loyalty coming from the youngest Summers girl.  It was truly heartening to see that the two girls viewed him as, not only a father, but as a dad.

Hank's eyes narrowed and he glared at he man who stood behind his two daughters.  

"Who's he?" Hank asked.

Dawn and Buffy exchanged a look.  "Our dad," Dawn answered calmly.

From the living room, the Scooby Gang could hear what was going on.  Stephen stood up, a little concerned about his wife.  He went to stand beside her, touching her gently to make sure she knew that he was right beside her.  Just like always.  She smiled and let her fingers twine with his.  

Hank didn't miss the gesture, and he glared at the young man who stood beside his daughter.

"And him?  Who's he?" Hank asked, looking at Stephen.

Buffy grinned and squeezed Stephen's hand, still inordinately proud to be able to call herself Stephen's wife.  "My husband."

Hank felt the wind get blown out of him.  He physically took a step backwards to steady himself.  

"This is…this is ridiculous.  Buffy, maybe we can talk in private," Hank suggested.

"I don't really have anything to say to you," she replied.

Stephen whispered his wife's name, thinking she was being a little too callous to her father.  Buffy turned to look at Stephen, her eyes angry.  When she saw only love and concern without accusation written in his eyes, her own eyes softened.  She sighed and gave an almost imperceptible nod.

"Alright.  We can talk," Buffy conceded.

Hank nodded, grateful that his eldest was finally being reasonable.

Buffy turned back to her family.  "If you guys could call us when lunch is ready, that'd be good."

Giles nodded and gave her a supportive smile.  Dawn grinned as Stephen pulled Buffy in for a quick kiss.  "You need anything, you know where to find me."

Dawn thought that Buffy and Stephen were the cutest thing, and was happily living vicariously through their marriage.  Stephen put a brotherly arm around Dawn, having become accustomed to the younger girls hugs over the last week.

Hank didn't miss how comfortable his youngest daughter was with Buffy's husband.  It made Hank realise exactly how much he had really missed.

Buffy walked up the stairs and gestured for her father to talk to her.  She lead him into her bedroom, quickly picking up her discarded pyjama's and Stephen's boxer shorts.  

She sat herself at one end of the bed, Indian style.  She felt far less comfortable with Hank then she had with Giles the previous night.  It seemed so strange that her birth father was the man she was so uncomfortable with.  It seemed so wrong to her.

"Alright…talk," Buffy said, grabbing a pillow and hugging it protectively.

Hank sat at the end of the bed, looking around a little.  The room looked to be exactly the same as the last time he had seen it.  It didn't look as though Stephen had been living there very long, even though he could see a pile of men's cloths in the laundry hamper that stood in the corner of Buffy's room.

"Who was that man?  The man you said was your dad?" he asked.

Buffy sighed, suddenly wishing she hadn't been so harsh with him.  But, she felt he deserved it.  It had been five years since she had seen him…well…technically.  Five years in this worlds time at the very least.  He hadn't made the effort to keep in contact with his two daughters, and he hadn't even been in contact since Joyce's death.  His absence had been sorely noted during and after the funeral.

"His name's Rupert Giles," Buffy explained.  "He's been a…family friend since Dawn and I were first in Sunnydale."

"Rupert Giles," Hank mused quietly.  "I've heard the name before."

Buffy gave a small laugh.  "I can imagine.  I probably told you about him at one time or another.  Mom might have as well.  They were…they were pretty close."

"Were they…"

"Together?" Buffy finished for him.  "No.  They were friends.  They might have had a fling, but…no.  He's…he's pretty special."

Hank's eyes narrowed.

"And you're saying I'm not?"

"I'm saying that you've been gone for too long.  I'm saying that we really needed you, especially earlier this year, and you were nowhere to be seen.  You didn't return any of our phone calls, not even after…" she trailed off, her mothers death still a sore point with her.  Four hundred and fifty years on, and still all Buffy wanted was to curl up in her mothers lap.

"After what Buffy?" Hank asked, his voice surprisingly gentle.

Buffy looked up at her father, seeing the genuine confusion.  "You have no idea, do you?"

"No idea about what?"

Buffy swallowed hard, trying to keep her temper under control.  She scoffed in disgust and wiped angry tears from her eyes.

"Do you know about what happened with mom?" Buffy asked.

Hank's eyes widened with confusion.  "Happened?  No.  Why?  What is it?  Is she alright?"

Buffy looked away from him, pained.  She could hear the concern in his voice.  Maybe her father wasn't such an asshole after all.

"She…there…she had a tumour.  A brain tumour.  She…she died.  Almost a year ago," Buffy said quietly.

Hank felt the world drop.  No wonder his daughter was so bitterly disappointed with him.  He had failed as a father.  He sucked in his pride and knew that he would need to make a bigger effort.  He knew that he had to make things right.  And he knew how to go about it. 

"Buffy, I'm…I'm so sorry sweetie.  I…I had no idea," he said quietly.  "If…If I had have known, I would have come back.  I would have taken care of you.  Oh, you poor girls.  You must have had such a hard time looking after your sister."

Not entirely true.  She hadn't been present for most of it, and for the month and a half after Joyce's death, she hadn't been doing a particularly brilliant job of taking care of Dawn.  But things were different now.  She would grow into her role as a guardian.  She had been self-sufficient for centuries, surely taking care of her sister would come easily.

"I've had help," Buffy said quietly.

Hank's eyes narrowed again.  "From _him_?"

"He has a name, you know," Buffy said, her voice lowering dangerously.  

"What kind of a name is Rupert anyway?" 

Buffy rolled her eyes, wondering how her father could be so immature.

"Look, he's been here, the whole time.  He took care of us, and…he was there when mom died.  I'm sorry if you're jealous, but…you weren't here.  And we needed someone," Buffy explained.

"I presume he was the one to give you away to that boy," Hank said, standing up, running his hands through his hair and beginning to pace the small space of Buffy's room.

"We haven't had a proper ceremony with everyone yet, but…when we do, he'll be the one that I ask," Buffy said.

Hank sighed and sat again.

"Buffy…I want to make it up to you.  I want to know who you are.  You and Dawn.  I…I want you both in my life again," he said pleadingly.

Buffy breathed in deeply, feeling an air of panic threatening to attack her.  She counted to ten silently and looked up at her dad.

"How about you stay for lunch?  It's not much, but…it's a start."

Hank just nodded.  Silently, he swore to himself that he would be on his best behaviour.  And he would get Buffy and Dawn to come back with him to LA.  No matter what the cost.

Thank you sooo much to the people who are reviewing this or sending me private emails!  You guys are seriously encouraging!!  Please, keep reviewing, cos I'm seriously in need of encouragement right now!!  Thanks again!

Toodles.

K.

katters_s@hotmail.com


	3. Gloom

CHAPTER THREE: GLOOM

Lunch was a noisy affair, ten people seated around the dining room table.  Giles sat at the head, a gesture that Hank didn't miss.  Giles was comfortable with each and every young person that sat around in the house, laughing and talking with them all as though he had known them for years.  And according to his eldest daughter, Rupert Giles probably did know them all very well.

Buffy was seated kitty-corner from Giles, Stephen next to her, with Dawn next to Stephen.  Spike sat beside the youngest Summers girl, kitty-corner to Angel.  Opposite Spike was Xander, the two of them kicking each others shins whenever the opportunity arose.  Neither of them would admit it out loud, but a few of their shots purposefully missed and kicked Angel.  Next to Xander was Anya who had Tara and Willow beside her.  Hank sat next to Willow and kitty-corner from Giles.  

Giles tapped a fork on his glass, clearing his throat loudly.  Hank noticed how the entire room went silent so quickly.  This man had authority over every single person in the room.

"I'd like to make a toast," Giles said, standing up, glass in hand.  "To Buffy.  On her return to us.  And to Stephen.  May they be incredibly happy together for many years to come."

The group returned the toast happily, leaving Hank confused as to where his daughter had been.  Returned from where?  He assumed her honeymoon perhaps.  He hadn't asked how long thy had been married for.

Buffy smiled at Giles and clinked her glass against his.  She stood up and looked around the table.

"To family," she said.  

The group smiled and repeated the toast.

"To new friends," Stephen said.

"To old friends," Dawn added.

"To love." Spike.

"To new beginnings." Angel.

"To jelly donuts." Xander.  The group broke into laughter.

"To many hours of sex." Anya.  The group groaned simultaneously.

"To the Scoobies." Willow.

"To life." Tara.

The group looked towards Hank expectantly.  In a show of unusual tact and sympathy, he raised his almost empty glass with a sombre air.

"To Joyce."

The group almost went into shocked silence, but they lifted their glasses and nodded their agreement.  Hank almost sighed in relief as he realised that he had made the right toast.

After almost a second of uncomfortable silence, the group started talking all at once.  Laughter broke out from all four corners of the table, five or six conversations going simultaneously.  Mini-food fights burst forth between Dawn, Spike and Xander, cut off quickly by a scowl from Angel.

Hours later, the group had adjourned to the living room, sitting haphazardly over the small space.  Buffy looked towards Giles and gave him a quick smile.  He nodded his encouragement to her and Buffy quickly cleared her throat.  The room went quiet again, Hank noticing that it was also an instant silence, much like Giles had demanded earlier.

"Uh…I know I've only been back a week, but…there's something that I wanted to announce to all of you," she began.  She squeezed Stephen's hand a little and he just kissed the back of her neck, making her shiver a little.  She blushed, causing Willow, Tara and Dawn to share secretive smiles.  "Uh…well, you know how Stephen and I are married and all that, well…there's a little more to it than that."

Dawn's eyes widened in comprehension.  She held back an excited squeal and leant forward in her seat.

"Uh…I'm pregnant."

The room burst into noise again, but Hank felt a silence descend upon him.  The world went blank.  His twenty-year-old daughter had just announced that she was pregnant.  She was married and pregnant to a boy that he had only just met.  

Stephen looked at his wife in confusion.  "Pregnant?" he repeated.

She nodded and kissed him gently.  "I wanted to tell you…I found out when we were in Quortoth, but…I didn't wanna say anything.  Just in case."

He nodded, still not entirely comprehending what was happening. 

"I uh…I don't understand.  What do you mean pregnant?" he asked.

Buffy caught on quickly.  She smiled and gave him another gentle kiss.  Hank's eyes narrowed in confusion.  What sort of person didn't understand pregnancy?  

Xander was thinking much the same thing until it dawned on him.  He was thinking about a boy who had been raised in a hell dimension.  And from the way that he had heard it, there weren't too many people there at all.

"It means, you and I are gonna have a little boy or a little girl in about nine months," she explained.

Stephen's eyes went wide.  He felt his mouth go dry.  He tried to find words, but felt his mind go completely blank.

"A baby?  We're…we're going to have a baby?" he asked incredulously.

She nodded at him, biting her lower lip nervously.  She wasn't sure of how he would react, sheer disbelief being better than anger though, she was thanking the Powers that Be for small favours.

A slow smile crept onto Stephen's face.  Buffy's grin matched his and the rest of the room looked on in silence as the couple once again retreated into their own private world even though they still remained in the room with eight other people.  The Scoobies were used to them suddenly forgetting about the rest of the world, it had happened so often in the last week.  Hank however, was having a hard time adjusting.

"Hold on," Hank said, holding up a hand to gain the rooms attention.  There was still some background noise of excited whispering.  His daughter could get complete silence, but he couldn't.  He tried not to dwell on that fact for too long.  "You're pregnant?"

Buffy grinned, not even her father's disapproving stare going to make her unhappy after she'd told the room her news.

"So they tell me," Buffy replied.

"You're married and expecting a baby to a boy you didn't even fit to tell me you were dating," Hank said.

Buffy rolled her eyes.  The room suddenly went silent.  Dawn held her breath, waiting for a fight to break out.  Dawn had heard her mom use much the same words when she had found out about Buffy sleeping with Angel when Angelus had blurted out the truth to get Buffy in trouble.

"If I'd even tried to call you, you wouldn't have got the messages," Buffy replied.

Dawn looked up sharply, glancing back and forth between her father and her sister.

"You didn't get our messages about mom?" Dawn asked, her voice small.

Hank had the grace to look abashed at Dawn's question.  He shook his head slowly.

"I'm sorry honey, but…no.  I didn't know until you're sister told me just now," Hank replied.

Xander and Willow looked equally disgusted.  They had grown up hearing about Mr Summers and his absence.  Hearing that Hank hadn't even been interested enough to make sure that his daughters weren't trying to contact him was sickening.  

Dawn tried to hold back tears.  She'd waited for weeks to get a phone call back from her father.  Then, when Buffy had died as well, she had desperately wanted to talk to someone who was family.  She had tried so many times to call him, but she could never get in contact with him.  

Hank turned back to Buffy when he saw Dawn turn away from him.  

"You can't…you can't be pregnant," he said decisively.

Xander scoffed a little.  "Riiight.  Just cos you say so, it's gonna make the pregnancy go away."

"Buffy, you're only twenty years old," Hank said, ignoring the young man who had nocked him.  "There are other options available."

The entire room went still.  No one dared to make a sound.  Hank realised he had just said something incredibly wrong.

"You want me to kill this child?" Buffy asked.

Stephen glared at his new father-in-law.  He had heard only a minute ago that he was going to be a father, and there was no way that he was going to give that up.  Not for anything in the world.  

As for Buffy, she knew about Slayers.  She knew that they had the life expectancy of a fruit fly.  She knew that they weren't meant to have children.  And she knew that this could be her only chance.  Not to mention the fact that she loved her husband more than anyone, excepting Dawn of course.  There was no way she was going to give up her child because her so-called 'father' didn't approve.

"I'm just saying you may not be ready for this.  You're…you're too young for this sort of responsibility," he said, trying to dig his way out of a hole.  Little did he know that he was just digging himself further into one.

"But I wasn't too young to take care of Dawn when mom died?" Buffy asked.  "You can't just waltz into my life like this and try to give me fatherly advice or whatever it is you're trying to do.  You're not my dad.  And at this rate, you won't ever be again."

Hank stood up angrily.  He had been told that he wasn't Buffy's dad too many times.  His temper snapped.  

"You know what Elizabeth," Hank said angrily.  Buffy winced at the sound of her given name.  She hadn't heard anyone speak it since she was about seven years old.  "When you're ready to listen to me, we can have a proper conversation.  Until then, I'm going to go."

He walked out of the room before Buffy could even reply.  With a groan, Buffy buried her head in her husband's shirt, willing herself not to cry. 

The room gave a collective sigh of relief as the door shut behind the angry man.  

"Well…wasn't that oodles of fun?" Dawn commented quietly, on the verge of tears herself.

Stephen rubbed Buffy's back gently.

"You okay?" he whispered gently.

She shook her head, refusing to look up at him.  He just gave the top of her head a gentle kiss and continued the soothing ministrations of his hands against her back.

"I didn't know yer given name was Elizabeth," Spike commented quietly.

Buffy finally composed herself and managed to look up at the blonde vampire.  She wiped away her tears and nodded.

"Yep.  Elizabeth Anne Summers-Holtz at your service," she said with a laugh.  She sighed and leant her back against Stephen's chest.  "I can't believe him.  I can't believe he would want me to give this up."

"Maybe he just doesn't want to realise how much you've grown up," Angel suggested gently.

Buffy nodded, agreeing with Angel's wisdom.  "He may not want me to grow up, but…does he have to be so vocal about it?  I can't believe he would even suggest that I would have…one of those thingies…where they get rid of the baby…"

"An abortion?" Tara prodded.

Buffy sighed. "Yeah.  One of those.  He doesn't know me at all.  Even if I weren't the Slayer…I could never do that."

"He'll come around Buff," Xander said encouragingly.  "You just have to let him get to know you again."

Buffy and Dawn exchanged glances.  "I don't think he ever knew either of us.  Not really."

Dawn sighed and hugged a pillow in front of her.  "Maybe he really does want to try," Dawn suggested quietly.

Buffy gave her sister a smile and ran her hand through the younger girls hair.  "Maybe.  Maybe this time he will really try."

Isn't Hank just a wonderfully _fun_ character? *grins*  Anyways, please, keep up with the reviews, you guys are fully awesome!

Toodles.

K.


	4. Murky

CHAPTER FOUR: MURKY

A month passed by without incident. Angel had helped Buffy and Stephen to get the correct papers to ensure that the government thought that they had always been there.  Stephen's was a little harder to get than Buffy's.  Having to create twenty years of records for his own son whom he had desperately wanted to see grow up was painful, but he knew that once he had done it all, Stephen would be grateful.  And Angel loved to see his son smile.

Buffy's history was easier to fabricate.  There was only seven months missing, and with very little effort, he had made it so that she had been in the Summers household the entire time.  He even went so far as to change the Social Services records, to add small additions to Buffy's record, making it seem as though she was a perfect parent.  Angel had had a marriage certificate fabricated, even though Buffy and Stephen wanted to have a proper ceremony with their family.  It had been decided that they would wait until after their child was born.

Buffy had slowly grown into her role as Dawn's guardian.  She had quickly realised that Dawn was an incredibly independent person, something that Dawn had assured her was a good thing.  Dawn was making Buffy's life easier, going to school and not skipping classes.  Buffy had been informed of a small shoplifting incident, for which Dawn had been severely reprimanded by Spike of all people.

It had been easy for Stephen to find a suitable place of employment.  Xander had seen Buffy's husband carving a piece of wood to begin making a cot for the child that was soon to be born.  Xander had noticed how professionally Stephen had been making the cot, and had told Stephen he should consider going into construction.  With help from Xander, Stephen had been initiated into construction work and was loving every second of it.

Buffy had wanted to get a job as well, but whenever she had mentioned that she was pregnant, many employers told her that they were hoping for someone a little more permanent.  They couldn't afford to let her have time off for maternity leave.  Buffy had been dejected, but a small part of her hadn't particularly wanted to begin a job so soon.  And for now, she was back in UC Sunnydale, auditing her classes until she could be fully re-enrolled in college.

It wasn't a special day that the official looking envelope came in the mail.  It had been a Friday afternoon, one that Buffy had been greatly looking forward to.  Stephen had the weekend off, and they would get some alone time.  Dawn was spending the weekend with a friend and Willow and Tara had offered to be elsewhere so that Buffy and Stephen could finally have the house to themselves.

Buffy opened the front door with a sigh.  She looked down to see a pile of mail at her feet, dropped through the slit in the door.  She bent down to pick them up, sifting through them quickly.  She hated the bills that had piled up, but with Willow, Tara and Stephen splitting them three ways, it was far easier to keep up with the finances of the house.

Her heart dropped as she saw the white envelope with a crest in the top left hand corner.  She dropped the other pieces of mail onto the coffee table in the living room and flopped onto the couch still holding the one that could change her life.

She'd been almost expecting it since Christmas Day, but she had hoped that it wouldn't arrive.  Dawn hadn't known about Buffy's suspicions in regards to her father's intentions for taking care of them, but Buffy had been petrified the entire time.  And now it was finally here.

She took a deep breath and ripped the envelope open, unfolding the letter.  She scanned the letter quickly and closed her eyes.  

Stephen found her sitting on the couch holding the letter an hour later.

"Buffy?" he asked quietly as he discarded his jacket in the hallway.  He walked towards her cautiously.  He had been on the receiving end of some truly painful hits after waking up his wife in a manner that frightened her.

Buffy however, wasn't asleep.  She opened her eyes and looked at him sadly.  He raced to sit beside her, gathering her in his arms.

"What's wrong?" he whispered against her hair as she burst into a fresh round of sobs.

Buffy wordlessly handed him the letter.  He scanned it quickly, feeling his heart drop as well.

"Can he do this?" he asked quietly.  "Get custody of Dawn?"

"I don't know," Buffy replied miserably.  "He's going to try." 

"But Angel got us all those papers for our wedding and for our entire lives," Stephen said, trying to comfort his wife.  "And you're a good mom Buffy.  They can't take her away from you."

"Not unless they prove I'm completely incompetent."

"And they can't prove that because you're not," he whispered.

Buffy sighed and buried herself into her husband's embrace.

"So much for our perfect weekend," Buffy said tearfully, looking up at him.

He gave her a soft smile and kissed her gently.  "It's you and it's me, and it's perfect no matter what."

She kissed him and let herself forget everything in the feeling of his lips against hers.  "Sweet talker."

He grinned into the kiss and pulled her closer to him, his heart jumping a few beats as he remembered how blessed he was to have such a woman in his life.

"I do what I can," he teased.

"Anything you can?" she asked coyly.

Stephen gave a little laugh and stood up, sweeping the tiny blonde up in his arms.  "Anything for you."

He began walking up the stairs with ease, Buffy still firmly ensconced in his arms.  

"Make me forget," she whispered.

He nodded and opened the door to their room, depositing her on the bed.  He quickly discarded his shirt and shoes, going to lay beside her, touching her cheek lovingly.

"We're going to have a perfect weekend Buffy," Stephen assured her.  "You and I, together…we'll go out, go dancing, maybe even frolic in the park."

Buffy couldn't help but laugh at that.  "Frolic huh?"

"Yep.  You and me, frolicking together.  And then, after we frolic in the park, we could come back here and frolic some more," he said, kissing her gently.

"What about now?  Are we gonna frolic?" she asked, her voice strained.

He grinned and felt his heart burst with love for her.

"You know it."


	5. Dim

CHAPTER FIVE: DIM

Morning came quickly, the first morning rays of sun coming through the window to wake the young lovers' skin.  Buffy stretched luxuriously, bumping Stephen and disturbing him from his sleep.  He rolled over and tightened his grip on the Slayer, pulling her willing body closer to his.

She settled into his embrace, nuzzling her mouth to his neck.

"Wanna go out somewhere?" he asked quietly.

She grinned and nodded.  "With you…anywhere."

He pulled away from her suddenly and stood up.  She looked at him and pouted, annoyed at having the warmth of his body stripped away so suddenly.  "Come on, lazy girl.  Let's get going," he said.

She rolled her eyes and allowed him to pull her up and into his embrace.  After a languid kiss, he pulled away again and put together an outfit, changing quickly as Buffy made her way to her wardrobe.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"Just out," he replied.  "Go for a walk.  Maybe go to the park.  It's gorgeous outside."

She nodded and put on a pair of jeans and a strappy singlet top.  She grabbed a pair of sandals from the bottom of her closet and slipped into them as she began brushing her hair quickly.

He grabbed her hand as soon as she was finished, the feel of it so familiar to her even though she knew that they had only really been together for six or so weeks.  It seemed so surreal at times, so strange to be back at home after so long.  The Scoobies would laugh and joke with her, but the inside jokes, ones she had used to understand were usually lost on her.  She would smile and laugh along with her family, and they didn't realise that she was struggling to get back into this world.

Walking with Stephen was soothing, something which they had indulged in nearly everyday, unless he was too exhausted from work, or if she was feeling nauseous from an afternoon bout of morning sickness.

It took nearly ten minutes to reach the park, and, as always, they headed towards 'their' clearing, just beyond the play equipment.  They were both certain that other couples used the clearing, but for the, it was just 'their' space.  A place away from the Scoobies where they could just sit quietly together.  

Well, usually it was quiet.  Ten minutes after they had settled themselves on a patch of grass, they heard a growling coming from behind them.  With simultaneous resigned sighs, they stood up and turned to face the creature behind them.  As demons went, it wasn't the worst that they had seen.  Six feet tall, grey metallic skin and a tiny tail.

Buffy and Stephen exchanged a look and raced towards the demon.  IT was taken aback, obviously not having expected its prey to turn the tables on it.  It growled in frustration and began fighting for its life.

With no weapons on them, they fought with fists.  They began gaining the upper hand between them, trapping the demon into a corner, its back to a tree.  Aggravated, the demon's claws elongated, slashing at the pair of them.  Stephen jumped back just in time, but Buffy lost her footing a little, the claws swiping her wrists in a downward motion.  She winced in pain but pushed past it and grabbed the demons wrist, making the demon lose its centre of balance, pulling it to the ground.

Within seconds, Buffy had positioned herself above it, grabbed its neck and snapped it.  Beneath their gaze, the demon melted into a puddle of grey.  Buffy scrunched her nose in disgust and took a step back, not wanting to ruin her shoes.

Stephen stepped forward and gently grabbed her bleeding wrist.

"This looks bad," he said quietly.

Buffy looked down at it, her eyes going wide.  Now that the fight had finished, she was beginning to feel the pain of it.  Stephen shrugged off his over-shirt and wrapped it around her wrist to stop the bleeding.

"Come on.  We should get this fixed up."

Buffy nodded and let her husband lead her away.  She was beginning to feel dizzy from blood loss, but managed to get home before collapsing on the couch in the living room.  Stephen gave her hand an encouraging squeeze and went to grab the first-aid kit from the bathroom.

Within minutes, her arm was bandaged and she was gulping down orange juice, trying her hardest not to pass out or throw up.

"How's it feel?" he asked quietly as he sat beside her.

"Sore," she replied, her voice just as quiet as her husband's.  "But not itching or anything, so that's of the good.  I don't think it was poisonous or anything."

He nodded and pulled her into his arms.  He lowered his head, his mouth meeting hers.  She grinned into the kiss.  "Suddenly painless," she whispered.

He smiled back and pulled her onto his lap.  "You up to frolicking?  We didn't get a lot of time at the park, but…you said you might be interested later…"

She grinned and kissed him hard, silently telling him her answer.  She stood suddenly and pulled him up to stand with her.  She looked up the stairs, communicating with him her wishes.  He grinned and walked with her.  A knock disrupted them before they could even hit the staircase.  Stephen groaned and Buffy just rolled her eyes.

"Someone seems bent on keeping us from enjoying this weekend," Buffy commented.

She opened the door and her heart sank.  Her flip statement seemed to have just been confirmed.

"What are you doing here?" she asked testily.

"That's no way to greet your father Buffy," Hank Summers stated, shoving past his daughter and entering the house without an invitation.  

"Well, I'd greet you nicely if you weren't trying to take my sister away from us," Buffy said.

Hank turned to face his daughter as Buffy shut the door behind them.

"I'm trying to do you a favour Buffy.  You're about to have a world of responsibility thrust onto your shoulders.  I don't think you're really ready to take care of your sister as well as a brand new baby.  And no offence to your _husband_ but I don't think he can properly afford to care for you and your sister and for the baby as well," Hank said, a smug grin on his face.

Buffy began remembering why she had wanted her father to stay as far away from Sunnydale as possible.  

"Why are you really doing this?" she asked.

Hank's smirk evaporated as he finally took a proper look at his eldest daughter.  Buffy hadn't been expecting it, so when Hank stepped forward and quickly grabbed her bandaged wrist, she didn't react fast enough to keep it hidden from view.  Hank turned to glare at Stephen who looked back defiantly, not really understanding the anger written in the older mans eyes.

"Did he do this to you?" Hank asked angrily.

Buffy yanked her writs away from his grasp, almost toppling over with the force that she had to use to get away from him.  Stephen stood behind her, a hand on her back, helping her keep her balance.  Buffy glared at her father, unable to believe that he had just asked her if her husband was abusing her.

"If you have to ask me that, then you really don't know the first thing about me or my husband," Buffy said angrily.  "I told you before…you can't just come into my life like this and try to make all these grand gestures.  You can't just swoop in and try and take Dawn away from me and expect me to sit back and let you do it."

"I'm trying to do what I feel is best for my daughters," he explained.

"Then what I suggest you do is back off.  Don't try and fight me for custody.  Come and visit us.  Hell, move back to Sunnydale for all I care, but we are _not_ moving back to LA.  Dawn's friends are here.  My friends are here.  And I am not about to uproot her from that.  She needs stability in her life.  You coming in and trying to take that away from us is not going to help.  She'll end up hating you," Buffy explained.

"Like you do?" Hank asked sadly.

Buffy sighed.  She felt Stephen's hand begin to draw gentle circles on her back, small enough so that Hank didn't notice that Stephen's hand was even moving.  Buffy sighed and leant back into her husband's touch.

"I don't hate you," she admitted.  "I don't know you.  And you don't know Dawn and I.  And that's okay.  But…you can't just come and expect us to treat you like we used to.  That's not fair on us, and it's not fair on the people around us.  I want things to be okay again, I really do, but…the way you're going about all this…you're making it really hard for me to even start liking you again."

Hank sighed and leant against the wall, running one hand through his thinning hair.  

"I just…I want things back to how they were.  Before the divorce."

"That was seven years ago," Buffy reminded him, quickly doing a mental calculation to make sure she didn't say the wrong number in front of her dad, lest he get suspicious about her life.  "We can't go back to that again.  It's been too long.  And we're different people now, Dawn and I.  And if you're really going to fight for custody, then I'll fight back.  I won't give her up without a fight.  And the court will see that I've been here the whole time when you left us."

Hank swallowed, wondering when his daughter had become so forceful.  He really didn't know his daughters at all.

"You really love her…Dawn, I mean…don't you?" Hank asked.

Buffy smiled.  "I'd gladly die to keep her alive.  I'd spend eternity in hell if it meant she'd be given another day to live." 

Stephen smiled a little at the reference that Hank wouldn't understand.  Buffy would do all that and more for Dawn.  Already had done most things for her sister and would do so much more.

Hank sighed and looked torn.  He eventually decided on a course of action.

"You're so grown up Buffy," he said.

Buffy held back a whoop of triumph.  She could barely remember the man standing in front of her, but she could recognise defeat when she heard it.

"You'll drop the request for custody?" she asked, keeping her voice deliberately even.

Hank nodded and gave a small sigh.  "I'm so lost when it comes to both of you.  I just…I wanted you to know that I still care.  That I still love you both."

Buffy nodded and stepped forward, surprising her father by giving him a quick hug.  "We know.  But, like I said, you can't just sweep in and make some grand gesture.  Slow steps, okay?  We can start getting to know each other again."

Hank nodded, thankful for the seven millionth chance he'd just been given.  He hesitated a moment longer, s though he wished to say more to the couple who stood in front of him.  Instead, he just smiled and told them that he would talk with them later on.

Seconds after the door had shut behind Hank, Buffy fell into her husband's arms and let him walk her up the stairs and towards the bathroom for an hour-long soak in the tub with her partner.  Their perfect weekend hadn't been all that horrible after all.


	6. Fog

CHAPTER SIX: FOG

Angel and Hank Summers had become regular fixtures in Sunnydale, visiting their children whenever they could.  Angel and Stephen had finally made their peace, and whilst part of Stephen was still wary around the vampire, he had grown to genuinely like his father.  

Hank Summers took a little more getting used to.  He took Buffy and Dawn on massive shopping sprees, trying to make up for when he hadn't been paying attention.  Hank had moved back to LA permanently and had been making trips between Sunnydale and LA every two or so weeks.  Things were better between him and his daughters, though he noticed how Buffy still refused to call him 'dad' even after five months of constant visits.

Buffy had been confined to the house at night. It hadn't taken long for the demon world to realise that the Slayer was back.  But, with a baby on the way, Stephen and the rest of the Scoobies had expressly forbidden her to even set foot outside after sunset unless one of the guys was with her.  While it was irritating her beyond measure, she knew that it was for her own good.  A pregnant Slayer would be quite a trophy to any demon in Sunnydale.  And at six months into her pregnancy, the bulge in her stomach made it hard to protect herself against any attacks to her middle.

So, when Hank came to visit on a Saturday night, he found his two daughters curled up on the couch watching videos and eating popcorn.  He had been given his own key to the house, something which he thought was definitely a good sign.  His eldest daughter though still refused to call him 'dad'.

Buffy looked up when she heard the door open, thinking it was her husband.  She smiled when she saw it was her father.

"Hey," she greeted.

Hank smiled at his two daughters and joined them in the lounge room, sitting himself on the single couch.

"What are we watching?" he asked.

Dawn had won the fight over the videos, deciding on 'Spiderman', her newest DVD which she'd been given for her birthday the previous week.  

"Spiderman," Dawn replied.  "That Harry guy's such a cutie.  Even if he is kinda semi-evil."

Buffy grinned, once again hit with a pang of realisation of just how much she had missed her sister.

"Special effects aren't too bad either," Buffy added.  The fight scenes weren't the best, but she was content to let her sister sit and watch with a smile.  "There's only about half an hour left if you wanna stay and watch."

Hank nodded and got himself more comfortable in his chair.  The movie ended twenty minutes later, Dawn stretching on the couch, giving her sister a small kick to the leg.  Buffy just kicked back gently, aware of her strength and how hard she could kick without it hurting.

"So…what brings you to Sunnydale?" Dawn asked.

"The two of you," Hank replied.  "I wanted to see if you two wanted to go out to dinner.

As if on cue, Dawn's stomach growled, making Buffy grin.  

"I think that's a 'yes' vote from The Stomach over here," Buffy teased.  

"And from you?" Hank asked.  He was still a little nervous when it came to his eldest daughter.  Her confidence was astounding, her strength and everything about her screamed that she was a young woman who could take care of herself.  That and her pregnancy had made her moods vary considerably.  He had trouble keeping up with her rapid fire mood swings, and found it easier to avoid any subjects that were likely to make her snap. 

"We'll, I'm eating for two, so if it involves food, I'm there," Buffy said.

Dawn giggled a little.  She'd seen the amount her tiny sister could pack into her stomach even before Buffy had been pregnant.  Their father was in for a surprise about the amount of food Buffy could consume.  

"Good," Hank said, standing up.  Buffy and Dawn followed his lead and raced up the stairs to change.

Nearly half an hour later, the two sisters were ready to leave.  Hank led the way, opening the door for his two girls.  Buffy stayed to lock the door behind them, letting Dawn and Hank begin the walk to his car.  Dawn squealed suddenly, making Buffy turn to see what the problem was.

Her eyes widened as she saw Hank struggling with a vampire, trying to keep the creatures teeth away from his neck.  Buffy grabbed a stake from the back of her jeans and raced forwards, tearing the vampire away from Hank.

The vamp stumbled backwards, his back hitting a tree.  The vamp growled angrily, annoyed at having his dinner taken away from him.  He began advancing towards Buffy, the vamp practically salivating when he realised that it was the Slayer, and not only was it the Slayer, but she was pregnant as well.

The vamp lunged towards her, and Hank watched in disbelief as his daughter ducked the vampires fists, but began fighting back.  He called her name, distracting her a little.  The vamp used her momentary distraction to his advantage and landed a swift punch to Buffy's face.  She stumbled back but quickly regrouped.  She lunged forward again, kicking the vamp in the crotch, startling the vamp.  He collapsed to his knees in pain.

Buffy advanced quickly with her stake at the ready.  The vamp pushed past the pain and flipped himself to his feet.  He backhanded her, making her almost lose her grip on her stake.  She rallied with a stunning left hook and went to plunge her stake into the vamp, seeing an opening.  The vamp saw her actions and went in for a dirty blow.  He kicked her stomach.

Buffy gasped in pain and doubled over.  The vamp grinned and went in for the kill.  As his fangs descended towards her neck, Buffy recovered and thrust her stake into the vamps heart.  It crumbled to dust and Buffy fell to the ground, the world slowly spinning out of focus.

The last thing she heard before her world went black was her father and her sister calling her name, trying to keep her conscious.  The pain suddenly took over, and Buffy blacked out.


	7. Shade

CHAPTER SEVEN: SHADE

Several excruciating hours later, Buffy was released from the hospital and trying to answer to her frantic father and her paranoid husband all at the same time.  Spike had followed them home as well, wanting to check on Dawn.  The rest of the Scoobies had gone home after seeing that Buffy was fine and that the baby had survived as well.

"What the hell were you doing?" Stephen asked angrily as he shut the door of the Summers' house.  Spike quietly excused himself and went up the stairs, Buffy and Stephen barely noticing him.

"It wasn't like I went out patrolling or anything!" Buffy replied testily.

Stephen rolled his eyes and glared at his wife.  They went into the living room, followed by Hank.

"You could have been killed," Stephen stated, beginning to pace the small length of the room.  "We told you that you weren't to go out at night without one of us with you."

"Well, none of you were around.  And we were only walking to the car, how was I meant to know we were about to get attacked?" she asked.

"This is Sunnydale Buffy," Stephen replied, trying to calm himself down.   "You know this town like the back of your hand.  You know what's out there at night."

Buffy sighed and let Stephen pull her into a hug.  Once again, Hank watched as his daughter and her husband sank into their own blissful cocoon.  It had been strange to get used to, but he had tried to take it in his stride.  It was difficult to do so know when all he wanted was some answers.  Such as what Buffy had meant by 'patrolling'.

"I just worry about you, love," Stephen whispered, kissing her gently.

"I know you worry, but…I couldn't just not do anything.  And how was I meant to convince my father that I can't go out at night because there are things out there that want to kill me," Buffy asked.

Hank's eyes widened considerably but he dared not make a sound in case they stopped speaking freely.

"Just promise me that you won't go out again.  Another attack like this and…" he trailed off, not even wanting to think about what could happen to his wife and his child.  "I know you're strong Buffy, you're stronger than I am, I've known that since Quortoth, but…if you get hit in the stomach again, you could lose our baby.  And I could lose you.  I couldn't live if that happened."

Buffy nodded and sunk into his arms.  "I promise love.  I won't go outside without you or Xand.  Or Spike," she added with a giggle.

Stephen smiled and kissed her forehead.  Hank, sensing that nothing more was going to be said between the two of them cleared his throat to get their attention.  Buffy looked up, but didn't step out of Stephen's embrace.  She swallowed nervously, wondering how she could explain to her father what had happened several hours before, and what the conversation she had just had with her husband had meant.

"Anything you wish to explain?" Hank asked.

Buffy looked at Stephen and sighed.  In unison, they stepped forward and sat on the couch, still holding hands for moral support.

"It's…complicated," Buffy said.

Hank shook his head angrily.  "Oh, no…you're not getting away with an answer like that.  We were attacked tonight by someone and you fought back.  You _killed_ him.  But there wasn't a body."

Buffy nodded.  "He was a vampire."

Hank's eyes went wide.  "A vampire?  You really expect me to believe that?"

"It's the truth," Stephen said calmly.

Hank breathed in deeply, wondering whether his daughter had any alcohol in the house.  

"Vampires aren't real," Hank said.

Buffy and Stephen exchanged a look.  Stephen grinned when he saw the silent question in Buffy's eyes.  He stood up and headed towards the stairs.  Hank looked on questioningly.

"Where's he-" 

Buffy held up a hand to stop the questioning and they waited in silence until Stephen came down the stairs with Spike in tow.

"You wanted me, Slayer?" Spike asked.

Buffy nodded as Stephen took his seat at her side again.  Spike perched himself on the coffee table.

"He doesn't believe in vampires," Buffy said, pointing towards Hank.

Spike grinned, seeing where Buffy was going with this.  He always had enjoyed Buffy's sense of humour.

"Right.  Take it you want a free show then?" Spike asked.

"Please?"

Spike nodded and looked towards a sceptical Hank.  

"You don't believe in vamps?" he asked.

Hank shook his head hesitantly.  He jumped back when Spike vamped out.  

Spike just chuckled a little.  He added a calm little "Grrr" just for effect.

Buffy giggled and hid her smile behind her hand.  Spike devamped and looked towards Buffy, tilting his head thoughtfully.

"Ooo, I know, I could bite the bugger and make him believe it even more," he suggested.

Buffy just glared and shook her head.  "I think we've just sent him into shock as it is."

Spike grinned and stood up, touching Hank's shoulder gently.  The man stood up and jumped away from Spike in fright.

"You're…"

"A vampire," Spike said.

"And you…"

"Drink blood."

"And she…"

"Kills us.  'Til Peaches the second here knocked her up good and proper."

Hank looked like he was about to hyperventilate.  Buffy stood and approached him carefully.

"He won't hurt you," she said quietly.  "He technically can't, but he wouldn't anyway."

"Take that back!" Spike yelled.

Stephen grinned and slapped Spike's back.  He really did like the platinum blonde vampire.

Hank looked towards his daughter.

"Did Joyce know about this?" he asked.

Buffy nodded.  "I told her when I was seventeen, so…she knew for about two and a bit years.  She…she was pretty freaked out at first, but…eventually she accepted it."

"But you're…you're not a vampire, are you?" Hank asked.

She shook her head.  "A Slayer.  I kill vamps."

"Why?  I mean…why you?" 

"We're not too sure on who gets chosen or why.  It just happens.  And I kill them cos it's the right thing to do," she explained.

"But what about him?" Hank asked, looking warily at Spike.

"He's a friend.  He helps us," Stephen explained. 

"So, not all vampires are evil?" Hank asked.

"Oh, we are," Spike answered.  "Just…some of us tend to grow out of it.  Must have inherited some part of the poofter or something."

Hank looked towards Buffy for an explanation.

"He's talking about the vampire that made him a vampire.  Angel."

"Angel?  The brown haired man who's always here?" Hank asked.  

Buffy nodded. 

"He's a vampire?"

Buffy nodded again.

"Yeah.  Angel's got a soul though.  He was cursed with it in the late 1800's, and he's had it ever since," Buffy explained.

Spike coughed loudly, but Buffy heard what words his cough had tried to cover.  "*cough*perfect happiness*cough*"

Hank too caught Spike's words but didn't understand them.  Buffy glared at Spike who just looked back defiantly.

"Hold on," Hank said suddenly, "Didn't your mom mention something about you dating a guy named Angel?"

Buffy went red and Spike just snickered.

"Uh…possibly."

"You dated a vampire?" Hank asked incredulously.

"He was good," Buffy explained.  "And I didn't know he was a vampire at first."

"Oh, so that makes it okay then," Hank said sarcastically.

"Look, you're coming in a little late in the story to be judging here," Buffy replied.  "That was years ago.  And we broke it off cos we knew that it wouldn't work out between us."

Hank just shook his head, trying to comprehend that vampires were real, that his daughter was something called a Slayer, and that his daughter had dated a vampire at one stage.

"I just…Buffy, that thing nearly killed you tonight," Hank said.  "You could have died."

"Wouldn't be the first time," Spike muttered.  Buffy and Stephen looked up sharply, but Hank completely missed it.

"I'm just…I'm worried Buffy.  You shouldn't be around here while you're pregnant."

"I know you're worried," Buffy replied.  "But I've got people here who can protect me.  Stephen and Spike and Xander…they all know what the what is around here.  I'm safe with these guys here.  I appreciate the concern though."

Hank just shook his head and walked slowly towards the door, not wanting to have to think about what had happened that night.

"Just…be careful," he finally said.  He gave a warning look towards Stephen.  "Take care of her."

Stephen nodded and shook Hank's hand.  "I will." He looked towards Buffy.  "Just like always."

She smiled at the phrase and leant into his embrace.

"Tell Dawn I'll see you both soon."

Buffy nodded and watched as Hank walked out the door.  She couldn't help the stray giggle that crept from her lips.  Spike smirked and quickly bade the couple farewell.  

"Bed?" he asked.

She smiled at him and nodded.  "I'm thinking sleep is sounding pretty good right now."

"Who said anything about sleep?"

This fic is far too fuzzy…it does get darker later…promise! ;)


	8. Blind

CHAPTER EIGHT: BLIND

The gang waited nervously in the waiting room, each of them eagerly waiting to hear what was happening inside the small room.  The room was surprisingly silent, even though there were nine people milling inside it.  Dawn was nervously chewing her fingernails, horribly worried about her sister.  Buffy had only been back for nine months, and now she was about to deliver a baby.  Dawn knew that babies were delivered all the time, but she couldn't help but worry about her sister.  What if something went horribly wrong?

Giles and Angel sat together in a corner, both of them worried.  Giles could only pray that Buffy came through the birth, mother and child alive.  There hadn't been any other recorded Slayer pregnancies, and this birth was something of an anomaly.  He hadn't informed the Council that Buffy was back mainly because the Council would be interested in harnessing the power of a child of a Slayer.  

Angel was worried about both his son and his daughter-in-law.  He had only just begun to get to know Stephen in the last few months, and he knew that if anything happened to Buffy, then Angel would lose his son as well.  It was obvious to see just how much Stephen loved the blonde Slayer, and Angel, surprisingly, wasn't jealous of their relationship.

Xander and Anya sat together, Anya's hands clasped over her own stomach.  She had found out only yesterday that she too was expecting a child, but they hadn't announced it yet, not wanting to take away from the excitement of Buffy's child.  They had decided to wait until the next week when things had finally calmed down.

Willow and Tara were seated with Dawn in between them, the youngest of the three with her head rested against Tara's shoulder.  Both of the Wicca's had become Dawns surrogate sisters when Buffy had been dead, and the three of them were silently worrying their way through the waiting period.

Spike was sitting by himself, wondering whether to be happy about this or not.  He was still profoundly jealous of Stephen, but he had grown to genuinely like the younger man.  And Spike could see that Stephen made Buffy happy, and Spike didn't want Buffy's happiness to change.  He decided to just be happy for the couple and try to get over the raging jealousy. 

Hank was pacing, not really part of the group, though there was an air of acceptance towards him.  The gang weren't openly hostile, though none of them really felt that he was a part of the Scoobies just yet.  

"What's taking so long?" Dawn asked.

Tara just stroked the young girls hair in the way that Buffy always did, a gesture that Dawn found soothing.

"Sometimes it just takes a long time for the baby to come out.  It doesn't mean anything sweetie," Tara assured her.

Dawn sighed with impatience and just watched as her dad paced the small room.  She was about to ask something else when Stephen raced into the room with a grin on his face.

"I'm a dad!" he yelled.

The group stood as one, grinning and laughing with the young man, shooting off questions to the brand new father.

"Is Buffy alright?" "The baby's alright then?" "Boy or girl?" "Have you decided on a name?" "Oo, name it after me!" "Can we see it?"

Stephen held up a hand and immediately there was silence.

"Buffy's fine, so is the baby.  It's a little boy, and we'll tell you his name when you come in and meet him.  And you'll be able to come in now.  Just be warned, she's a little tired, so if she's cranky, don't blame me."

The group moved towards the delivery room, entering quietly so as not to startle the baby.  Stephen moved through the crowded room and took his seat beside his wife who was cradling their son gently in her arms.  Buffy looked up at the group and gave them a smile.

"Hey guys," she said.

The group echoed her hellos and moved to get a closer look at her son.  

"He's so cute," Dawn cooed, gently touching the baby's face.

"He's a little bugger, that's for sure," Spike added.

Buffy glared at him, but couldn't help laughing.  She could hear the affection in Spike's voice, even though his words suggested otherwise.

"I'm a grand-daddy," Angel said, smiling widely.

There were a few bursts of laughter at Angel's statement, and Hank just looked at the brown haired vamp in shock.  He watched as Angel and Stephen exchanged grins and he quickly made a mental note to ask Dawn or Buffy about that later.

Buffy and Stephen smiled at each other and Stephen nodded to her.

"Do you guys wanna know his name?" she asked.

The group burst into quiet noise and Buffy took it as a yes.  

"Guys, this is Connor Rupert Summers-Holtz," she said.

Giles and Angel looked floored when they heard the name.  Angel hadn't been expecting them to give their son the name they had originally called Stephen, but he was honoured that they would do that.  Giles looked as though he was about to burst with pride and he smiled widely at Buffy.

"This way, there's part of all four grand-daddies," Buffy explained.  "Angel, Giles, dad and Daniel."

Hank nearly hit the floor.  Buffy had finally called him 'dad'.  He had also been worried when he hadn't had any sons that the Summers family name would suddenly stop, but now it was living on in Buffy's son.  He kept the tears at bay and smiled at his eldest daughter.  Buffy gave him a gentle smile back and tried to bite back a yawn.  Stephen saw it however and ushered everyone out of the room, telling them to come back tomorrow when Buffy had had a little more sleep.

Stephen returned to his place beside his wife and gently took their son from her arms.  With a smile, he softly sung his son to sleep, his wife drifting into slumber as well.  Tears trickled down his cheeks as he realised that all was right with the world.

(This fic was meant to be a lot darker than this…it's kinda fluffy so far, hey?  And thank you to whoever suggested that I name Buffy's child 'Connor'!  I sooo wouldn't have thought of that!)


	9. Opaque

CHAPTER NINE: OPAQUE

Two years later 

It was a Saturday, a bright afternoon.  Connor had just had his second birthday, and both Buffy and Stephen absolutely adored their son.  He was spoiled and everyone knew it, but he was the first child of what Xander had named the 'soon-to-multiply Scrappy Gang', or the 'Scoobies, the next Generation'.   

Anya had had a little girl who was now fifteen months old, a beautiful child named Beth Tanya Willow Harris, named after Xander's four favourite Scooby girls.  

The Scoobies had voted on having a weekend off, and whilst Spike and Angel were annoyed that they couldn't attend the gathering, they were assured that the evening portion of the celebrations would be just as entertaining.  When Spike had asked what they were celebrating, he had been met with five or six of the Scoobies shrugging and bursting into laughter.  No one knew, and no one really needed to know.

"Hey Wills, can you pass us Bethie's diaper bag?" Xander saked, holding his hand out to take the bag once it was passed to him.

Willow smiled and did as she was asked.  "I never thought I'd see the day that Xander Harris was changing diapers."

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," Xander replied.  "I'm gonna be dad of the year, so nyeah!"

"And that would be the maturity part of fatherhood making a shining appearance," Stephen joked.

Xander glared at his friend.  "You're meant to be on my side man.  What happened to male solidarity?"

"Buffy's all the solidarity I need."

Buffy blushed while the rest of the group groaned in unison.  Dawn made gagging noises.

"Is it just me, or has this group become far too mushy?" Willow asked.

"It's definitely not just you," Tara replied, snuggling closer to her girlfriend.   

"This of course, coming from the girl who calls her girlfriend 'poopsie' behind closed doors," Xander teased.

Both Willow and Tara went bright red while the rest of the Scoobies burst into good-natured laughter.

"You told him that?" Tara whispered.

Xander cracked up.  "No!  But you just did!"

Willow rolled her eyes and buried her face in Tara's shoulder.  

"No fair," Willow complained.

Buffy stroked her son's hair absently, the boy sitting on her lap, Stephen behind her as she leant into him.  She went to add something to the conversation but stopped abruptly.  Stephen felt her tense up.  

"You okay?" he whispered.

She nodded but lifted Connor off her lap, kneeling up and giving her son to Stephen.  

"I'll be back in a second," she said.

Stephen nodded in confusion, and the rest of the Gang watched as the Slayer walked away, not answering any of the questions they fired at her.

"Is she okay?" Dawn asked, concerned.

Stephen nodded.  "'Course she is sweetie," he replied, a smile on his face.  "She probably just had to use the bathroom or something."

"Maybe someone should check on her," Xander suggested.

Willow nodded her agreement and stood up, kissing Tara's cheek before she left to run after Buffy.  

She found the Slayer seated on a park bench, breathing deeply.

"Buffy?  You okay?" Willow asked.

Buffy looked up, her eyes wide and frightened.

"I can't do it again," she whispered.

Willow sat next to her, completely confused but willing herself to stay calm for her friend.

"Can't do what?" she asked gently.

"I can't go back."

"Go back?  Go back where?" Willow asked.  She was getting concerned now.  She hadn't seen Buffy have a panic attack for months now.  She'd been better since Connor's birth.  

Buffy just looked past Willow, her gaze fixed on something behind the redhead.  Willow turned to look behind her and saw a short man standing three feet away.

"Buffy?" she asked, turning back to her friend.  "Who is he?"

"Whistler," the man replied.  

Willow turned to look at him.

"What the hell do you want?  You're upsetting her!"

"I know," he replied sadly.  "I'm sorry kid."

Buffy just stared at him.  

"You can't make me do this."

"Yeah we can," Whistler said.

"We?  Who's we?  Buffy?!  What is this?  Who is he?" Willow asked frantically.

"I'm a messenger," Whistler explained.  "From the Powers that Be."

"From the Powers?  Alright…what's the message?"

"She's left some stuff unfinished," Whistler explained.

"Unfinished?!" Buffy yelled, springing from the bench angrily.  She stalked towards Whistler who took a step back.  "I was there for centuries and you're telling me that I left something unfinished?!  There is _nothing_ there for me.  There _never_ was.  So you can go back to the Powers and tell them to leave me the hell alone!"

Willow had never heard her friend speak so angrily, although the conversation that the Slayer had had with her Watcher when Giles had told Buffy that she might have had to kill her sister came a fairly close second.  She'd never heard Buffy talk about her experience in the hell dimension.  She'd never found out how long Buffy had been there.  And by her shouted admission, Willow now knew the truth.  Buffy had been there for centuries.

"I know that you hated that place Buffy," Whistler said.  "I know you don't wanna go back there.  But you don't get a choice in this.  You're the only one strong enough to stop it from happening again."

"First of all, you don't know shit about what I went through Whistler.  You don't know the _first_ _thing_ about what happened.  And second of all," she said more calmly, "stop what?"

"There were three gods that ruled Quortoth.  Glorificus, Jamanus, and Kredavarus.  Glorificus was cast out," Whistler explained.

"Preaching to the choir here," Buffy said testily.  "Get to the point."

"Geez Slayer, no need to get snippy.  Jamanus and Kredavarus chose a mortal for Glory to share a body with."

"Ben," Willow supplied.

"Benjamin James Lorado.  Ben to his family and friends.  Jamanus cursed this child to live with Glory trying to manipulate him."

"I know all this," Buffy said.

"Jamanus wanted to kill the child that Glory occupied so that Glory couldn't come back to their world, but Kredavarus was more sympathetic towards the child, this innocent.  They fought for centuries over who was right and who was wrong and what should be done.  Meanwhile, little Ben's growing up, cute as a button without a care in the world," Whistler said.

"And?"

"And, Jamie and Kred started a war within Quortoth, fought over a thousand centuries ago."

"Who won?" Willow asked.

"Kredavarus was victorious, and he cast Jamanus out of the dimension.  Buffy, the only reason you survived even ten minutes in that place was because Kredavarus was a kinder god than the other two."

"I thought that all three of them were equals in their little reign of terror thing," Willow said.

"They were.  Until Kredavarus decided that he wanted someone as his son," Whistler continued.  "He spent centuries choosing boy-creatures from other realms and other dimensions.  He finally chose a mortal boy from _our _reality and pulled him into Quortoth."

Buffy had to admit that it did sound like a cause worth fighting for.  She couldn't imagine what she would do if Connor was taken away from her.  She would have gone crazy.  

"And you can get me in?" Buffy asked.

"And out," Whistler said.  "The Powers worked it so that there's an entrance tomorrow and an exit in a weeks time."

Buffy closed her eyes.  "A week in our time," Buffy guessed.

Whistler nodded.  "I'm sorry kid."

"Same deal as before though, right?" she asked.

"Yeah.  Same deal," he said.

Buffy breathed in deeply.  "A week, huh?"  Fifteen years.  He was asking her to give the Powers fifteen years of service after she had only just got away from the place that had tortured her for four hundred years.

"So…what do I hafta do?" Buffy finally asked.

Whistler smiled and stepped forward to touch the girl's shoulder.  "I knew you'd come around in the end.  The good fight and all that."

She gave him a tight-lipped smile.  "You can tell your Powers that Be that I'm done.  After this, they're not to call on me _ever _again.  If I so much as hear even the slightest of requests from them, I will tell them to go fuck themselves, are we clear?"

Whistler nodded and led her back to the bench, pushing on her shoulder to get her to sit down.  Willow couldn't believe the language that was coming from her best friends mouth.  She'd never heard Buffy speak so crudely or so passionately about anything.

"Alright, so here's the game plan.  You go in tomorrow.  You find the centre of Quortoth and you defeat Kredavarus."

"Defeat him?  As in, kill another hellgod?" Willow asked, her voice quiet.

"That's about it," Whistler replied easily.  

"And the kid this Kred guy's just taken?  What about him?" Buffy asked.

Whistler shook his head.  "Even if you went in today and managed to defeat Kreadavrus, you'd still be too late to give this kid his normal childhood."

Buffy sighed and closed her eyes.  Another person she had failed to save.

"Why didn't the Powers tell me about this when I was actually there?  I was just hanging ground for years doing jack-all.  I coulda done with a mission," Buffy complained.

"Quortoth's outta their jurisdiction.  The Powers stay away from Quortoth, and Quortoth stays away from this realm.  Kred's never taken one from our dimension before, so the Powers overlooked it.  But, he's taken a mortal boy now.  And he'll do it again," Whistler said.  "He broke the agreement, so now we can get access to the dimension." 

Buffy looked towards Willow.  "Wills, can you give us a sec?" 

Willow nodded and walked away, keeping within a range where she could still see them, but was unable to hear them.

"The Powers won't change their mind for any reason will they?  About me going I mean," Buffy said.

Whistler shook his head.  "You're the only one who can stop this.  You're the only one strong enough to make it through Quortoth and come out alright on this side."

"So…I couldn't dissuade them of this for any reason then," Buffy said sadly.

"Not for anything, no."

"Not even if I told you that I'm pregnant?"

(There we go…much less fluffy!  How's that for angst?)


	10. Dense

CHAPTER TEN: DENSE

Whistler shook his head sadly.

"They already know," he said.

"They don't care, do they?" she asked.

Whistler breathed in deeply and plunged in, hoping that she wouldn't shoot the messenger.

"Even if they hadn't wanted you to go back to Quortoth, you wouldn't have bought that baby to term," Whistler explained.

Buffy's eyes flashed angrily."Why the hell not?"

"You're the first Slayer to have a kid, did you know that?"

Buffy nodded.Giles had told her all about the research that he had done about Slayers and pregnancies of the past.He hadn't found a single one, something which had scared her to death.But, Connor was alive and healthy and happy._She_ was alive and healthy and happy.

"Slayers aren't meant to have kids," Whistler explained."But the Powers reckoned that you deserved it after the hell you went through.But they couldn't let you have another one."

"Why not?"

"Cos you're out of action for too long.Cos you're putting other people's lives at risk by not doing your duty," Whistler explained.

"You're telling me that I can't have any more children?" she asked quietly.

"I'm sorry kid.I wish I had better news for you," he replied.He was honestly sorry.He'd always liked Buffy, and to have to deliver this sort of heart-breaking news was painful for him.

"So what happens to my child?" she asked, her hand coming to rest over her stomach.

"When you go through the portal…"

"It'll kill my baby," she finished.

He nodded apologetically.

"And even if you decided to stay here and not kill Kredavarus, you wouldn't make it through childbirth.And neither would your kid," he said.

"So, the only way for me to live, for me to ever see my son and my husband again, is going to Quortoth, defeating yet another hell-god and then coming back in fifteen years time, does that about cover it?"

"Pretty much," Whistler said.

A single tear fell down Buffy's cheek and she turned away from Whistler.

"Will this ever stop?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah," he replied."It'll stop."

"When?"

"When you're done in Quortoth, that'll be it.You'll be done," he said.

She breathed a sigh of relief and closed her eyes tiredly.

"I never wanted any of this," she whispered."I just want to stay here with my family."

Whistler nodded and put a hand on the girls shoulder."You'll see them again."

Buffy nodded and stood up, moving away from Whistler.

"Tomorrow, huh?When?"

"Morning.Around five am.I'll be waiting at your place to take you to the portal," Whistler explained.

(Does this girls life _suck_ or what?)

----------------------

When Whistler disappeared, Willow walked back towards Buffy who was still seated on the park bench, staring blankly into space.

"You okay?" Willow asked gently, seating herself beside Buffy.

Buffy just nodded and closed her eyes.She stood up abruptly.

"Will you tell the others I'll see them back at home later?" 

Before Willow could reply, Buffy had started walking away.Willow sighed and watched until she could no longer see the blonde Slayer and finally walked back to the group.

She didn't explain to them about Whistler, knowing that Buffy would want to do so later.She just told them that Buffy hadn't been feeling great, so she'd gone back home.Willow could only hope that it wasn't too much of a lie.

------------------------

Buffy walked aimlessly around Sunnydale for hours, not taking anything in, just trying to remember to keep breathing.She hadn't had a chance to tell Stephen the news about her being pregnant, and to hear that she would lose this child no matter what she did was killing her.

She didn't know what she was meant to tell the others either.There was no way she could tell them about being pregnant.That would have been too much to have to admit to any of the Scoobies or her husband.Not to mention the fact that even when she came back from Quortoth, she'd never be able to give Stephen anymore children.

Sighing, she finally gave up on her brooding and headed back home.

------------------------

"Wills?" Buffy said quietly, getting the redhead's attention.

"Yeah?"

"Can I talk to you for a sec?" 

Willow nodded and cast an anxious look towards the rest of the Scoobies.She stood up and followed Buffy upstairs to the Slayer's bedroom.

"What's up?" she asked.

"I need you to promise me something," Buffy said quietly, her voice soft and incredibly serious.

"Of course," Willow said."Anything, you know that."

"I'm not going to tell them where I'm going," Buffy said."I'm just going to tell that that I'll be gone for a while.And that they can't come."

Willow's eyes narrowed.She didn't like the sounds of that.

"Buffy…you have to tell them.You have to at least tell Stephen," Willow said.

"Out of everyone, he is the one that I _don't_ want knowing.And it's not like I'll be gone that long, right?A week isn't too bad."She was trying to play it off to sound as though it wasn't a life-altering amount of time.Willow, of course, saw through it.

"A week in our time," Willow said softly."That's what you told that Whistler guy.How long is that in Quortoth?"

"Will, please," Buffy said, deliberately dodging the question."I can't have them worried about me.It's not what I want for you guys."

"It's a long time there isn't it?" Willow pushed."You told Whistler you'd been there for centuries.Is that true?"

Buffy hesitated and then nodded, her eyes closing slowly."Yeah," she whispered."It's true."

"He's asking for a lot longer than a week, isn't he?" Willow asked.

"About fifteen years," Buffy replied.

Willow gasped.

"But…it won't take that long to kill a hellgod.I mean, we were only trying to kill Glory for about eight months," Willow protested.

"And now I'll be trying to kill a hellgod who's got home turf advantage.One who doesn't have to share a body with a mortal to survive.I don't know how the hell I'm meant to kill this guy, and for all I know, it will take that long.But I _don't_ want Stephen to know that I'm going back there.He…he'd want to come and I don't know if I could say no to him," Buffy said sadly.

"He'd age there," Willow whispered.

Buffy just nodded and buried her face in her hands."I don't know what else to say to convince you that it's better for everyone if they just think I'm helping in some remote region of the world.They don't need to be sitting on edge for an entire week wondering how I'm faring against some hellgod." 

Willow sighed and finally nodded.

"I won't tell," she conceded."But when you get back, you have to tell them.You can't just let it boil up inside you.Bad things tend to happen if you do that."

"I promise," Buffy said, tears in her eyes.

Willow smiled and stepped forward, engulfing her best friend in a hug.When she stepped back she gave the blonde girl a shaky smile.

"Now…go make sure you say goodbye to your husband properly."

My apologies for taking so LOOOONG with this one.Been too caught up with In The Beginning.Whoops.Thanks to everyone who's been bugging me to update!Special thanks to my flatmate Sarah for reading my fics…if and when you get up to this bit…know that I luv ya hun!!

Toodles.

K.


	11. Unclear

CHAPTER ELEVEN: UNCLEAR

Buffy sat on Dawn's bed, holding her younger sister's hands gently.

"I have to go away for a while," Buffy explained.

"Away?" Dawn repeated, panicking.  "Away where?  You only just go back."

"Dawnie-"

"Well, alright, you've been back for like two and a half years, but still!  You can't just go!" Dawn said.

Buffy gave her a sad smile.

"Trust me, I really don't want to go either," she said.

  
 "So why go?" Dawn asked.

"Because I promised that I would help someone out.  It's only for a week, I'll be back before you even have time to miss me," Buffy said.

Dawn looked at her sister with tears in her eyes.  

"I don't wanna lose you again," she whispered.

Buffy pulled Dawn into a hug and ran her hands through her sister hair.  She held back tears knowing that it would be fifteen long years before she'd have a chance to do it again.

"I'm coming back, I swear it," Buffy said.

Dawn sighed reluctantly and let her sister go.  She held up the pinkie on her right hand.  "Pinkie swear?"

Buffy grinned and the two of them hooked pinkies.

"You be good for Stephen and the others, alright?" Buffy said.  "And make sure the Gang doesn't spoil my son rotten."

Dawn nodded and hugged her sister tightly.  As much as Dawn didn't want Buffy to leave, she understood the importance of Buffy's duty to the world.  Some things had to come before family.

------------------------

"Can I talk to you?" Buffy asked, pulling Stephen into their bedroom.  He looked at her worriedly and nodded.

"Of course you can, love.  You know that."

"I…I have to go away for a while," she said.  "There's some people who need my help, and I promised that I would go."

Stephen looked at her hard.  

"A while?  How long is a while?"

"A week."

"A week?"

She nodded.  "It's not really that long," she said.  "I'll be back on Sunday."

"Where is it?  I could help you," he offered.

She shook her head gently and kissed him softly. 

"I wish you could come, but…you can't.  And I can't tell you exactly where I'll be either.  It's not safe," she said.

"Buffy, I knew the risks when I signed on for loving you," Stephen reminded her.   "I can handle whatever you have to tell me."

"I'm sorry," she whispered.  "I can't tell you that."

Stephen swallowed and sighed softly, his eyes closing.  He hadn't gone a day without her for over four years now.  Having her announce that she was suddenly going away for a week was throwing him tremendously.

"What about Connor?" Stephen asked.

Buffy looked at him with tears in her eyes.  "I'm sorry," she said again.

"And I can't say anything to change your mind about this?" 

"No."

He sighed again and nodded.

"When are you going?" he asked.

"Tomorrow morning.  Early.  Around five-ish."

"But that's in six hours!" he cried.

She nodded.  "I know."

He refused to let himself cry.  He pulled his wife into a tight hug, letting her clutch at him tightly.

"You're coming back though right?" he asked.

She nodded into his shirt, tears welling in her eyes and a sob rising in her throat.

"I couldn't stay away if I tried," she said quietly.

He kissed her forehead and held her, trying to calm himself down.  When he had finally regained his senses, he picked her up in his arms, eliciting a tiny squeal from Buffy.  He put her down on the bed and lay beside her kissing her gently.

"How am I meant to sleep at night without you by my side?" he asked.

She had wondered the same question from her perspective.  How was she meant to last fifteen years without her husband, without her son and her sister and her friends?  It was a long time to be without them. 

She had no answer for him, and just kissed him gently.  Neither of them slept the night, just staying awake, holding each other and making love until the sun began to rise.

Ooo, an update!  *grins* I know, I know, it's been a while.  Hope you people are still reading!  Thank you to the people who have been encouraging me to continue this even when I was really thinking about stopping altogether.  Much thanks for all your emails and reviews and pestering for me to continue!

Toodles.

K.


	12. Blurred

CHAPTER TWELVE: BLURRED

By five am, Buffy was sitting on the back porch of her house.  She was ready to leave the moment Whistler came to get her.

She'd worn black combat boots, a pair of black pants, a white t-shirt and had a black leather coat with her.  She had packed a bag with a multitude of weapons as well as a water bottle.  It would make carrying her supplies far easier to have a proper backpack this time around.  She had carefully wrapped Giles' Watcher's Diary in a piece of cloth and put that in her backpack as well.  It had kept her sane last time, and even though the thing was falling apart, she couldn't imagine being in Quortoth without it.

Stephen sat beside her on the porch, arms wrapped around each other.  Buffy sighed when she saw Whistler walk into the backyard.

"You ready?" he asked, offering no greeting.

"Would it have mattered if I wasn't?" she replied.

He just shrugged and looked at her expectantly.  She stood, Stephen standing with her.

"Are you sure I can't go with you?  We could fight it together.  Just like always," he said, using their catch phrase to try and guilt her into letting him go as well.

She just shook her head sadly and turned to give him a final parting kiss.

"I'm coming back, I swear it," she whispered.

Stephen just nodded, not trusting his voice as tears fell from his eyes.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you," she replied.  She kissed him again and finally pulled away.  "Take care of our son."  _He's the only child I can give you, love.  I'm sorry_.

She forced herself to walk away from her husband, from her home towards where Whistler was waiting.  When they got to the end of the backyard, Buffy turned to look once more at her husband, her resolve almost shattering as she took in the devastated look on his face.  She blew him a kiss and made herself walk away.

------------------------

He lead her to a very familiar site.  The Tower.  The one she had plunged off so many years earlier.  She looked up at it and then looked sharply at Whistler.

"You want me to jump again?" she asked incredulously.

Whistler nodded.  

"But they had to bury me last time," she said nervously.

"That's because of how the portal was opened.  It opened with blood and closed with blood.  This portal is being opened by the Powers and only because Kredavarus broke the agreement.  If he hadn't have opened a portal to our reality to steal his 'son', we wouldn't have been able to get you in and out again," Whistler explained.

"So, there won't be a body in this dimension?" she asked to clarify.

"Nope."

She nodded, thankful that at least her friends wouldn't stumble across her body.  

Whistler motioned for her to head towards the Tower.  Buffy swallowed nervously and began walking towards the base of the structure.  She looked up it and tried not to feel sick at the memories this Tower conjured up.  In the last two and a half years she had purposefully stayed away from the Tower altogether. 

"When you get to the top, the Powers will open a portal for you.  All you gotta do is jump," he explained.

Buffy nodded and breathed in deeply.  She put her hand on the railing and began climbing.

------------------------

The sun began to rise over the horizon.  Buffy had one thought run through her mind, though she didn't know where it had come from.  _The sun bleeding into the sky._

"Here goes nothing."

It was bright.  Blinding.  White lights and purple lightning flashing all around, the beginnings of a dull ache in her head as everything began to tear in two.  She could feel her soul, her entire being begin to rip in half, the pain of it all so intense, so much more than anything she had ever felt in her entire life.  And all she could do was scream silently as her body fell from the tower, plummeting towards the earth.

It was more painful than she remembered, brighter, more intense.  The noises in her ears almost deafened her, a screaming roar surrounding her entire being and threatening to overwhelm her completely.  She closed her eyes, wanting for it to be over.  Not just the trip through the portal, but all of it.  Everything.  She wanted nothing more than for it all to be over.

She gasped in pain as she felt something happening within her stomach.  A terrible aching, ripping, prodding, tearing sensation.  She knew exactly what was happening and she wept because of it.  

Just as the pain was about to become too intense, the noises stopped, the lights went out, and everything stopped.  The world went black, and Buffy finally passed out.

-----

Wah!  And update!!  My gosh!!!  ;)  Sorry for the delay!


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